Poncho was in a red mood slanging with rage and needed to cook himself out of it , while shoving handfuls of salted peanuts down his gullet and slurping ice cold Fanta
Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
Why does everyone have to pretend to be stupid and not know long words?
I've always been led to believe that the ultimate goal for an author is the movie deal. Now I understand that the movie deal is merely a MEANS TO A MUCH HIGHER END: NAIL POLISH.
Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).
The truths of the one subject have already been discovered, but have not been accepted because they spell the death of the faith in the lie.
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder.
When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush c...
I'm an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me that's not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver...
Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement.
I was going through a little bit of turbulence in my career. And so, it's funny how turbulence itself will make you hold onto something for security. And so the only thing I knew is trust in the Lord...
People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player.
I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketc...
The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.
Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.
It's unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they're like a...
It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.
Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.