I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
It's a little weird that I'm getting an award for being nice and generous and kind... which is what we're all supposed to do for one another. That's the point of being human. I think that kindness is...
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.
I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big...
Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
I'd like to be more patient! I just want everything now. I've tried to meditate, but it's really hard for me to stay still. I'd like to try to force myself to do it, because everybody says how wonderf...
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
I think everybody should have the same anger towards the injustice that's happening and the hatred that's happening, and just fight it with love and compassion.
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and mak...
I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me.
I have an amazing team; I have amazing producers; I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it's me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the love in my life.
We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter.