“ The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny. Hugh Grant
“ Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. Julia Sweeney
“ If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area. Jason Segel
“ I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest. Janeane Garofalo
“ People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?' Al Yankovic
“ I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up. Lynda Barry
“ I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixe… Eddie Izzard
“ I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of. Calvin Trillin
“ You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually. John Green
“ Weightlessness is like heroin, or how I imagine heroin must be. You try it once, and when it's over, all you can think about is how much you want to do it again. But apparently the thrill wears off. Mary Roach
“ The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it, but I didn't. I just gave him some drugs.You gave an addict in rehab drugs, and you… Ilona Andrews
“ The Shrink always warned me that carriers stay wracked with lifelong guilt. It's not an uplifting thing having turned lovers into monsters. We feel bad that we haven't turned into monsters ourselves--… Scott Westerfeld
“ Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time.Me (Ilona): ...~A little later~Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen*Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to… Ilona Andrews
“ I was shown into a room. A red room. Red wallpaper, red curtains, red carpet. They said it was a sitting-room, but I don’t know why they’d decided to confine its purpose just to sitting. Obviously, si… Hugh Laurie
