“ Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal. Eddie Izzard
“ I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixe… Eddie Izzard
“ I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever. Eddie Izzard
“ Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling. Eddie Izzard
“ Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others. Eddie Izzard
“ So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel! Eddie Izzard
“ I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive. Eddie Izzard
“ I'm quite good at taking in information so I voraciously inhale Wikipedia - which may have some things wrong in it, but I think is generally more information than we had before. Last tour we didn't ha… Eddie Izzard
“ They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Eddie Izzard
“ I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. S… Eddie Izzard
“ If you are an LGBT+ person and you come out, you have to go through your knight’s quest to create ground for yourself, to create a space for yourself, to stand there and say, “I exist. I have no reaso… Eddie Izzard
“ It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized you could buy a packet of cereal with a free gift and then just stick your hand in and root around in the packet until you found the free thing. It seems… Eddie Izzard
“ I had the luxury of knowing what I wanted to do. So I just sat on the bed and came up with a plan for myself:"I have to go to the Edinburgh Fringe. But I don't have the confidence to do a production t… Eddie Izzard
“ But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." Bad dog exists. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!" The dog is saying, "Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people… Eddie Izzard
