To increase the chances of a writer trying to kill themselves, cut off their hands.
Pull the hair on my head the wrong way, and I would be on my knees begging for mercy. I have very sensitive follicles.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
Some people love but will never marry each other. Some are married to but have never loved and will never love each other.
Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Yeah, I get it; you're a vampire, she said. Creepy. And okay, a little hot, I admit. You don't mean that. Come on. I still like you, you know, even if you... crave plasma. Michael blinked and looked a...
Remove yourself, sir!
Never follow the crowd....Until and unless you're crossing the road...
Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
If an Artist falls in love with you, you will live forever.
Just so you know, I get incredibly bored quite easily and you will be forced to be my source of entertainment. You'll kind of be like my own personal jester.I flipped him off.Well that wasn't funny at...
He rolled his eyes and took my hand. His hand was hard and calloused, tough with muscle and old scars.The night settled around us like a blanket. I could hear the water lapping against the dock. We we...
My paintings capture the humor, zaniness, and depth of the Batman villains as well as the Freudian motivations of Batman as an all-too-human, venerable, and funny vigilante superhero.
You know you are a human when a beautiful image appearing on television/computer/smartphone/tab screen appears more alive than a living being.Basically, we are stupid.
We are racing down Main Street. Arthur is right on the tail of a blck sedan with tinted windows that won't pull over. He slams the horn."Arthur," I say.The car doesn't yield."Arthur," I say.He hits th...
It's funny how the ugly duckling always has so many beautiful things to teach us.
Some stories have to be written because no one would believe the absurdity of it all.
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.