“ It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'Thi… Garrett Hedlund
“ I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line. Bob Newhart
“ The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh. Joe Rogan
“ I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. Steve Martin
“ I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my… Lalu Prasad Yadav
“ It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life. Jimi Hendrix
“ My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. Jimmy Durante
“ It's a funny thing about life if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. W. Somerset Maugham
“ ['L]ook, of course I know you and your family have beliefs,' began Howard uneasily, as if 'beliefs' were a kind of condition, like oral herpes. Zadie Smith
“ When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind. Ilona Andrews
“ This was another skill women were meant to learn: when a man's story had come to an end. Mostly, it wasn't a problem, as the end was thumpingly obvious; or else the narrator started snorting with laug… Julian Barnes
“ It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression as pretty as an airport. Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only… Douglas Adams
“ I mean, here we are in LA. The home of celebrities. They’re the local natural phenomenon. Everyone knows you come to LA to see the celebrities, like you go to Sri Lanka to see the elephants. Sophie Kinsella
“ I love my pizza so much, in fact, that I have come to believe in my delirium that my pizza might actually love me, in return. I am having a relationship with this pizza, almost an affair. Elizabeth Gilbert
“ Divination is turning out to be much more trouble than I could have foreseen, never having studied the subject myself. J.K. Rowling
“ And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours. Simone Elkeles
“ Alice opened the door when I rang. She had on green pyjamas and held a hairbrush in one hand. She looked wearily at Quinn and spoke wearily: Bring it in.I took it in and spread it on a bed. It mumbled… Dashiell Hammett
“ Our family's special holiday tradition is going over to my grandparent's house on Christmas morning. My grandma cooks a big breakfast, and I love hearing her tell old funny stories. Caroline Sunshine
