I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.
This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.
I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say somethi...
Funny is funny is funny.
Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.
I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.
The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.
If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they've all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there's something about laughter and the durability of a marriage.
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got...
Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, 'Why is that person staring at me?'
Humor's a weapon if you want to make it one.
People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.
People have told me, 'My dad passed on, but I have great memories of watching your shows with him.' It doesn't get any better than that.
I didn't know I was cool, but I was very flattered that some of the younger comedy writers came up to talk to me at the Emmys. I found that gratifying.
I think there's a little confusion between humor and 'gross' passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable, because they aren't the same thing.
What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.
I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.
There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy...