“ Be careful who you choose as your hero or who you choose to deify, be it Clay Aiken or Barack Obama. You put all you're hope and all your dreams and all your ideas about stuff into one human being. Th… Craig Ferguson
“ I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane. Craig Ferguson
“ I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it Craig Ferguson
“ That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil. Craig Ferguson
“ When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. 'You don't pay me back I break both yer legs.' Is that all? You won't take my house or wreck my credit rating? Fine where do I s… Craig Ferguson
“ The clocks understood, they kept moving, motion, following the truth that change is the nature of God's mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain. Craig Ferguson
“ If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it! Craig Ferguson
“ I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again. Craig Ferguson
“ People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid. Craig Ferguson
“ Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah. Craig Ferguson
“ Its hard to stay up. Its been a long long dayAnd you've got the sandman at your door. But hang on, leave the TV on and lets do it anyway.Its ok. You can always sleep through work tomorrow. Ok?Hey, Hey… Craig Ferguson
“ I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice. Craig Ferguson
“ I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that. Craig Ferguson
“ It turns out that speeding irresponsibly in a large truck, placing personal wealth ahead of the welfare of others, is one of the greatest sins in the Universe.... Craig Ferguson
