“ Wisdom of the Ages: "Tooth Fairy" Growing up in the Northwest was tough. For years I thought the Tooth Fairy was a big boat with cars and sharp teeth. Matthew Heines
“ Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn't easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels. The Covert Comic
“ What smells good may not always taste good, I leaned this the day I tried to eat a scented candle. Kenny D. Eichenberg
“ We were kissing.I thought: This is good.I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe.Suddenly she laughed and pull… John Green
“ This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places... You know when you order french fries and there's a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you're alarmed but… Chelsea Handler
“ We must eschew anything trivial. We must embrace all that is frivolous.... Trivial things take up all your time and dull your senses, whereas frivolity is meaningful, profound, worth living and dying… Cynthia Heimel
“ I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead Jeff Foxworthy
“ I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin. Libba Bray
“ Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was. D.J. MacHale
“ I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the… William Shakespeare
“ Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it. Rodney Dangerfield
“ The great thing about writing fiction is that you can do whatever the fuck you want, go as far as you are willing to go, and laugh at the people who take it seriously. Richard P. Denney
“ Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
“ Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, And life unto the bitter in soul; Which long for death, but it cometh not; And dig for it more than for hid treasures; Which rejoice exceedingly, and… Compton Gage
“ The New World Order is established by degrees. The first degree is truth of the one subject, which follows from the existence and the oneness of the universe, and from the ancient belief that God is a… Compton Gage
“ God has permitted the great lie for a short time only. That time is now coming to an end. Believers in the lie! You have been raised on the milk of your concrete beliefs. Now it is time for you to be… Compton Gage
