“ No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's… Ellen DeGeneres
“ It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people… Gertrude Stein
“ Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. Tim Allen
“ I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. Steve Martin
“ A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' Claude Pepper
“ What’s the best part of being in Hermes cabin?Connor: You are never lonely. I mean seriously, new kids are always coming in. So you always have someone to talk to.Travis: Or prank.Connor: Or pickpocke… Rick Riordan
“ That will be her undoing, gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. Artemis Fowl will never be .I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly. Eoin Colfer
“ On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead. Stephen Chbosky
“ Okay, you gotta be nice to him, I say, coaxing the white fur-ball into my hands. I will, Nate says, and I smile over my shoulder. I was actually talking to Mr. Pippi. He's a bit of a butthole. Cassie Mae
“ Not to alarm you or anything, but I think you just made a deal with a Mexican gang. I've read Simone Elkeles books. I know how this whole garage as a front thing works. Tammy Blackwell
“ Jary, Garge, Elane and Daved Pady emerge from the Lamborgini Veneno like sad clown's from the SICKEST clown car ever. Seinfeld 2000
“ I mean, we're ninjas.Well maybe a ninja, I saidYou're just a really loud, awkward ninja, Margo said, but we are both ninjas. John Green
“ I brought you some coffee. he held out the cup but she waved it away.I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet.At that he smiled. How would you know what feet taste like?I just know.-Luke and Clary, pg.2… Cassandra Clare
“ I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the… William Shakespeare
