“ We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. Lily Tomlin
“ Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. Lily Tomlin
“ Many times I sit back and say, 'I can't believe that this is my life!' Other times, I feel self-satisfied. I mean, there's a lot to be proud and thankful for but, nonetheless, it's just a life! Lily Tomlin
“ Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. Lily Tomlin
“ I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be fun… Lily Tomlin
“ You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. Lily Tomlin
