Both scary and down-to-earth, he [John Belushi] once told me, 'I never yell at the staff, only the department heads'.
Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.
If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen gran...
When I was in college, I really liked poetry. I don't read much anymore.
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
Now that I had assigned myself an act without jokes, I gave myself a rule. Never let them know I was bombing
Free love, man, Free Love! Which, by the way, was the single greatest concept a young man has ever heard. About three years late, women got wise an my frustration returned to normal levels.
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus Be dull and boring and omnipresent
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
People in coats and ties were milling around the Talley gallery, and on the wall were the minimally rendered still lifes by Giorgio Morandi, most of them no bigger than a tea tray. Their thin browns,...
Be so good they can't ignore you.
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.