Janet Evanovich Quotes

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently? ~ Morelli

We don't usually write up accidents involving rabbits.- Joe Morelli

He blew himself up.Get out! You mean like guts all over the place?Not all over the place, I said. He was pretty well contained, all things considered.

What time is it? Lula asked. I might need a doughnut. Is it doughnut time?I'm thinking about eating healthier, I said. More vegetables and fewer doughnuts.What's that about?I don't know. It just came...

Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. How does he always get food stuck to him? I asked Morelli. I don't know, Morelli said. It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in...

My sex life is okay.Yeah, Morelli said. But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.

There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.

Babe, Ranger said. You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about. That had been true five minutes a...

Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.

Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed e...

Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?"I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about." That had been true five minut...

If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.

Joe I said. It's Stephanie.Does this involve death?Not yet.Does this involve sex?Not yet.I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.

As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. That's a rocket launcher! Ye...

Yeah, I'm a thief.Honey, that's such a turn-on.He reached for her, and she jumped away.Stand down, Kate said. My hands are lethal weapons.Nick backed her against the wall and leaned into her. I've go...

Nice dress. Take it off.

I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a rec...

Have you ever thought about seeing a healthcare professional? I could find someone who would help you better understand the power of the amulet.''Healthcare is just another way of allowing employers a...

I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the apples...

Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right now. She sent me a look of utter disgust and slammed the front door. I was 30-year-old and...