Top Shit Quotes

You're a shit cake with cum for whipped cream and dynamite for candles.

I don't see anything other than pretensions and low mentality in women who make a man run after a hole that would soon be inhabited by termites and worms.

When the shit hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet.

There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

Paco is walking out of the bathroom and I rush past him.You might want to wait before you-- Paco's voice fades as I close the door, locking myself in. Wiping my eyes, I gaze into the mirror. I'm a com...

A dung beetle couple in love constantly proves that you still can be in love living on shit.

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.

Hiya, Alex. I missed you tonight.My gaze rests on Sam. Yeah, I see how much you missed me.Sam? Oh, I don't really like him, she coos, coming close. I can smell the radiating off her. I'm waiting for...

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

The shield wall reeks of shit, and all a man wants is to be home, to be anywhere but on this field that prepares for battle, but none of us will turn and run or else we will be despised for ever. We p...

... If I wanna shit I am going to buy it from the shop... what I need now is a friend on which I can count on... you know the drill.

Foulmouthed individuals seem to have their neuron systems replaced by colon structures, given that their terminology profusely consists of "sh*t and f*ck". ("Tolerance zero")

If you’re looking for fast driving there’s a dragway in the southwestern part of the county. It opens next week.Do you race there? he asks.Yes. And I plan on spending a lot of time there over the next...

Jayden went for my fries, ignoring Anna’s narrowed gaze. Thanks, babe.You two know each other? Jo gestured between Jayden and me with her fork.Before I could nod, he dropped an arm over my shoulders....

I'm going to shit in your lungs for this.

Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.

Just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you start to smell some of the shit, you start smelling all of the shit

Paco says, throwing down his lunch. They think they can buy a U-shaped shell, stuff it, and call it a taco, but those cafeteria workers wouldn't know taco meat from a piece of shit. That's what this t...