I don't like the fact that doctors are referred to as practicing.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get except the blinding headaches.
Professional life is like a fire hydrant. You spend all of your time putting out fires and standing your ground against the big dogs.
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.
My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.
Vice president: That's the title given to a corporate manager instead of a raise.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is very important.
It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
Experience is the one thing you have plenty of when you're too old to get the job.
Downsizing means you're about to become the guest of honor at a going-away party.
America has not always been kind to its artists and scholars. Somehow the scientists always seem to get the penthouse while the arts and humanities get the basement.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
I left journalism because I met too many interesting people at an uninteresting salary.
The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.
I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead Spenser is dead so is Milton so is Shakespeare and I'm not feeling so...
Ask a writer what he thinks about critics and the answer you get is similar to what you get when you ask a lamppost how he feels about dogs.
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