My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.
I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.
I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?
I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.
I'm a writer. I write checks. Mostly fiction.
I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she c...
I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than mak...
