Top Masturbation Quotes

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that's where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis can ejaculate...

Masturbation Definition

(n.) Onanism; self-pollution.

Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.

Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, Give me masturbation or give me death. Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend;...

Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.

Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long walks). Hold a Christmas party every year at which you stand in the corner of your writing room, shout...

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

Real scratching is superior to masturbation, in my opinion.

The difference between a self-induced orgasm and an orgasm given by a man is like comparing a rainy day and a rain storm. Rain was a sure thing, you knew exactly what you were going to get: a clean an...

Twas the night before Thanksgiving.

Today I will masterbate!Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

Don't tell me he's bisexual! Don't tell me this is more of the guy in the hallway! Don't tell me he wants us to have it off together, Philip Roth fucking Philip Roth! That, I'm afraid, is a form of ma...

Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.

Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

She imagined herself both queen and slave, dominatrix and victim. In her imagination she was making love with men of all skin colors--white, black, yellow--with homosexuals and beggars. She was anyone...

Hey roomie." I was breathless. I looked her straight in the eyes as my fingers squeezed my nipples and rubbed my swollen clit. "Told you I wouldn't stop when you caught me.

Often, no sooner would the mind begin to scale the heights of Mt. Knowledge than it would receive a frantic call from body base camp, demanding it return to oversee Operation Masturbate.