Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
Seinfeld was typically American in that show. He was a pretty funny guy, but he had no sense of style. Tacky like a Texan tux. Tasteless dressing and tasteful jokes. That's Seinfeld for me. I would ha...
The primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy.
The higher you rise in the business ladder, the smaller your balls become.
It will be generally found that the popular joke is not true to the letter, but is true to the spirit. The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.
Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly...
Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.
Childhood was the germ of all mistrust. You were cruelly joked upon and then you cruelly joked. You lost the remembrance of pain through inflicting it.
Some jokes are stupid and useless, if you can't get it. It's to stupid to go in it, but whatever!- Make your choice!
I will cut taxes - cut taxes - for 95 percent of all working families, because, in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle class.
What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with bo...
Casy said, Ol' Tom's house can't be more'n a mile from here. Ain't she over that third rise?Sure, said Joad. Less somebody stole it, like Pa stole it.Your pa stole it?Sure, got it a mile an' a half ea...
Hey, religious nuts! Please do not grow up. Just go up!
Jokes are another example of stupidity... we are so wise and so clever and we do stupid stuff, how wise is that?Jokes on stage of being serious... when you aren't serious what you get is more likely s...
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
What's so unpleasant about being drunk?Ask a glass of water!
Minds me of a story they tell about Willy Feeley when he was a young fella. Willy was bashful, awful bashful. Well, one day he takes a heifer over to Graves' bull. Ever'body was out but Elsie Graves,...
I wonder Pa went so easy. I wonder Grampa didn' kill nobody. Nobody never tol' Grampa where to put his feet. An' Ma ain't nobody you can push aroun' neither. I seen her beat the hell out of a tin pedd...
Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Because it stays up, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on!
Tobin, Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination room and be like, Guy wal...