“ I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid. Amy Sedaris
“ Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend. Amy Sedaris
“ My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him. Amy Sedaris
“ I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wis… Amy Sedaris
“ I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn. Amy Sedaris
“ You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff. Amy Sedaris
“ David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends. Amy Sedaris
“ • A good trick is to fill your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosey guest better than an avalanche of marbles hitting a porcelain sink. Plus you’ll know which guest is a junkie who… Amy Sedaris
“ I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination. Amy Sedaris
