Top Jokes Quotes

Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.

I do not have a problem with people killing themselves, as long as they took at least a hundred years to think about what they are about to do.

Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.

Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.

What did the soup say to the tea plate? "You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.

We think we like or love some people until we see them regularly.

I am not perfect, but if I looked perfect to everyone I must have been rocking imperfect perfectly to a few imperfect souls that seek imperfection vs. perfection, in an imperfect world where God asks...

Thanks to bad graphic design, some readers love only the electronic version of some books.

There would be fewer absent fathers, if straight men were turned on only by women with whom they would not mind having children.

Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.

After a certain point, all natural bodily changes are for the worst.

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.

The only real reason that some relationships and marriages have not yet been ended is because in each case one of the partners has not yet found their ideal partner or someone they love or at least li...

One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher

She was spontaneously created by the midichlorians,' I said. Both women gave me blank looks. 'Never mind.

An arrogant man whose arrogance we see from his own behaviour is more tolerable than a humble man whose humility we hear of from his own mouth.

The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them like a prince or a princess.

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess.