How many thefts have there been?’ I asked.‘That depends on how you define it,’ said Adrian.Because material went missing off sites all the time, which is why important finds were collated and secured...
The general public have a warped view of the speed at which an investigation proceeds. They like to imagine tense conversations going on behind the venetian blinds and unshaven, but ruggedly handsome,...
From then on, it was even twistier B-roads through a country so photgenically rural that I half expected to meet Bilbo Baggins around the next corner - providing he'd taken to driving a Nissan Micra.
The problem with the so-called bloody surveillance state is that it’s hard work trying to track someone’s movements using CCTV – especially if they’re on foot. Part of the problem is that the cameras...
She was spontaneously created by the midichlorians,' I said. Both women gave me blank looks. 'Never mind.
Or as my dad always says: it only becomes a social problem when the working man joins in.
I think it's designed to flower open like a Chocolate Orange.Me and Lesley then had to explain Terry's Chocolate Orange to Nightingale.Not unlike a practitioner's hand opening to reveal a werelight, s...
It's a sad fact of modern life that sooner or later you will end up on YouTube doing something stupid. The trick, according to my dad, is to make a fool of yourself to the best of your ability.
I was pleased to see that even back in the glory days of the Folly people left their mugs of tea on their magical textbooks.
Fuck me,' I said out loud, 'I'm in fairyland.
Bollocks, I thought, or testiculi or possibly testiculos if we were using the accusative.
The night may be dark and full of terrors, I thought, but I've got a big stick.
Abigail stared suspiciously at Lesley. Why are you wearing a mask? she asked.Because my face fell off, said Lesley.Abigail considered this for a moment and then nodded. Okay, she said.
The police never saw a noun they didn't want to turn into a verb, so it quickly became to action, as in you action me to undertake a Falcon assessment, I action a Falcon assessment, a Falcon assessmen...
We decided to go back to basics and put the frighteners on some snouts.Really?We adopted a proactive intelligence-gathering policy utilising appropriate stakeholders in the community and pre-establish...
So that's when I came up with the most ridiculous plan since I'd decided to take a witness statement from a ghost. It was a plan so stupid that even Baldrick would have rejected it out of hand.
Despite what you think you know, most people don't want to fight, especially when evenly matched. … That's why you see those young men doing the dance of don't hold me back while desperately hoping s...
Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education.
This is where the whole ape-descended thing reveals its worth, I thought madly. Sucks to be you, quadruped. Opposable thumbs - don't leave home without them.
Now, personally, I'd have been happier driving an armored personnel carrier in through the front door. But since we're the Met, and not the police department of a small town in Missouri, we didn't hav...