Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Sometimes I think about dying. And then I wonder about going to hell. And then I think that if and when I go there, the place will be completely organized and run by lost souls, with a council and a w...
People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones.
I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
You remind me of an old cat I once had. Whenever he killed a mouse he would bring it into the drawing-room and lay it affectionately at my feet. I would reject the corpse with horror and turn him out,...
Trevor wondered if anyone in the outside world could even guess at the horror of working in the Planning Department
Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince me why I should love you.Because any other female would!
She introduced herself to my parents with one of her mighty, bunny-crushing handshakes. (I'd never seen Claudia crush a bunny, to be fair, but that's the approximate level of pressure.)
She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven’t done in years— barnyard sounds.
She had been to her Great-Aunt Willoughby’s before, and she knew exactly what to expect. She would be asked about her lessons, and how many marks she had, and whether she had been a good girl. I can’t...
Otis, I said.Shhh, he said. I'm incognito. Call me...Otis.I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay.Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.
On a world where a common table implement is a little device with which you crack the ice that has formed on your drink between drafts, hot beer is a thing you come to appreciate.
I said alone!He nodded in agreement. Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It’s our way.
I mean, I don’t want to pass judgment—I just wish my husband didn’t shoot deer.Oh, Mel, don’t worry. I’ve been hunting with your husband—the deer are completely safe.
How's Uncle Louis today? Who? And Aunt Maude?
Even Dionysus's welcome-home speech wasn't enough to dampen my spirits. Yes, yes, so the little brat didn't get himself killed and now he'll have an even bigger head. Well, huzzah for that. In other a...
Carlos, are we in complete understanding with each other?Yeah, I say. As long as it’s not in your house and you don’t know about it, you’re okay with us messin’ around.I know you’re joking with me. Yo...
Because we live in a world under siege, I say. Life sucks for mages and magicians- taught me that. Bad things happen to those of us who get involved, but if we didn't fight, we'd be in an even worse...
A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.
Absurd laughter is a kind of protest against an absurd existence.