being funny is actually all about thinking "what if ?" in a creative way.
The Romans always wanted bread and circuses-food and entertainement! As we destroy their city, I will offer them both. Behold, a sample!"Someething dropped from the ceiling and landed at Percy's feet:...
Frankly speaking, I'm not afraid of death. I don't endeavour to avert its advent. But I don't want to be a witness of it.
Of all the things I expected to find in my lunch, a live snake wasn't one of them.
Comedy is hard work. People expect you to be funny 24/7. So if you're not constantly cracking up your friends, it can hurt you professionally. They may not read your book or come to your show. 'She's...
The reason God never fails is because he fears to fail
We came from nothing, we'll leave with nothing; might as well make the most of the brief somethingness in between
Women are almost two thirds more likely than men to believe in God, a major study of attitudes among middle aged Britons has found, says The Telegraph. Well, men are twice more likely than God to beli...
- "Surely you have considered terrorist activity?"There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and who is going to quit after this and raise chick...
Shit, I have already read this....
Laugh and the world laughs with you.Fart and you're on your own.
Giving up drinking for life is easy.I've done it loads of times.
What the heck is this, a trivet?""I AM WAFFLE FACE!
We may be pilgrims passing through this world, but let's not be grim-pills in the process!
If you count sheep before you go to sleep, are you barrrrr'd from dreams?
Am I gay, am I straight? No, I'm just slutty. So, where's my parade? What about slut pride.
No Ghost of any common sense begins a conversation
I find that when people laugh it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff. I'm not interested in other people thinking differently. I...
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
All I had was a dream and six million pounds.'Denholm, The IT Crowd