It's very important my parent's don't think I'm starting to fall in love with people, because then they might notice that I'm growing up, and I'm kind of trying to keep it a secret. I think it will ca...
FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.
Drafting is like painting the Golden Gate Bridge.The closer you get to the end, the more you start to worry about the beginning.
Nefarious purposes translation: For disgusting demon sex and the birth of the Devil incarnate. Nice.
I love therapy. I don't get the taboo about seeking therapy at all. It's exactly like taking Buzzfeed quizzes. At the end of the day, we all want to know what cocktail we are. But it means so much mor...
Before I was ordained, when I was working for the council, I thought of the first three months of the year as January, February, March. Now I think of them as Epiphany, Candlemas and Ash Wednesday.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Go forth my sex beast...to his virginity
I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.
I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me "smoking can cause fatal lung cancer".
Yes, you may ask my name but only if you can tell me: are your thighs as fine as a fresh, crisp morning in early July?
A horse loves freedom, and the weariest old work horse will roll on the ground or break into a lumbering gallop when he is turned loose into the open.
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud
101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies and not be called sexist. If a man indulges in this behavior over a picture of naked woman,...
Umgangsformen sind Formen, die zunehmend umgangen werden.
Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you wo...
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
You know you've reached a new plateau of group mediocrity when even a Canadian is alarmed by your lack of individuality.
When they’re together, the world could fall apart around them and they’d never notice or care as long as they have each other.