Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
I beg your pardon I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
Tatiana is a ridiculously curvy thing of dreams, with smooth succulent thighs, long strawberry blond cascading beneath a teal bandana, and a nympho sparkle in her eyes that says pick me, lick me, span...
Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves.
According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Only dead surpasses the sufferings
Anger does not change the fact. The will to take control is everything.
You have strength born of years of grief and anger... The strength of a man denied revenge.
The great lie that science has given us is that reality is material.
Justice is paramount. The new judgement is the justice of the hidden time.
Did not the souls also of the righteous ask question of these things in their chambers, saying, "How long shall I hope on this fashion?" when cometh the fruit of the floor of our reward?
There shall be confusion also in many places, and the fire shall be oft sent out again, and the wild beasts shall change their places, and menstruate women shall bring forth monsters:
Consider with thyself; as the rain is more than the drops, and as the fire is greater than the smoke; but the drops and the smoke remain behind: so the quantity which is past did more exceed.
You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.
One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just don't like it when characters do things that are funny to the writer, but you don't know why they're doing it and it doesn't make any sense.
The prospects for a coherent, hilarious and consistent American comedy seem to lessen every year, as the poor waterlogged, gassy corpse called 'Evan Almighty' proved when it floated ashore recently. S...