I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.
I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is 'In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.'
I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME.
Even so have I given the womb of the earth to those that be sown in it in their times.
There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.
It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.
Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.
The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only p...
Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.
More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling i...
It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.