The fog was mysterious. The lights were mysterious. The music was A-Tisket, A-Tasket.
Captain Smek himself appeared on television for an official speech to humankind. [...] 'Noble Savages of Earth,' he said. 'Long time we have tried to live together in peace.' (It had been five months....
Can I see some ID? WE DON'T HAVE ID, said Jay, loudly. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug t...
The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.
I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G.Sausages.
We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.''Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.
When I was a little girl,' I said, sitting down, 'the wallpaper in my room had pictures of Noah's story.' [...]You know what's weird though? It's weird that the ark would be such a kids' story, you kn...
Told you, said Mick. Things comin' together. We set off lookin' for the Utz kids an' find a tree full o' everybody. That's magic, too.It's like a story.Same thing. The universe don't like plot. Story...
I'm half white, I said, folding my arms.Hrrm. Which half?I blinked. Uh...dunno. Let's just say it's from the waist down. Chief Shouting Bear nodded. Deal. I only hate your legs.
She had her shoes on now, and a diaper bag slung over one shoulder. In the opposite arm she cradled Andromeda, who was wearing both her Legolas Onesie and her Keebler booties. Which seemed wrong, you...
You know what doesn’t work when people are tasering you? It’s shouting ‘Stop tasering me.’ If they’re tasering you already, they won’t stop because you ask them to.
I jerked my head at the billboard and asked J.Lo, What is that thing even trying to sell me, anyway? Eh, said J.Lo as he tried to think of how to explain it. Is a kind of strap for people whose eyes a...
I grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner because it comforted me to hold something in my hand that had a trigger, such as it was. I
I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.
I didn’t feel up to arguing about it, but I was pretty sure if you loved everything you didn’t really love anything.
Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen.
Scottish Play Doe was born at 4:13 a.m. on September 6th. The ink was barely dry on his father's new tattoo.
I’d drained our bank account, and there was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept at the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled DEAD SPIDERS. As if I hadn’t...
Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hi...
The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th foll...
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