Worrying is like praying for crap!
Google and ye shall find.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
The Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat's been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a whit...
I just wrote a book. But don't go and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished.
Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.
I`ve got a black woolen hat and it`s got Pervert written across the front of it. It`s the name of the clothing label. And I was with my wife and my baby at the supermarket and I didn`t think. I just p...
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
We needed a refrigerator for our new place and I've never bought a refrigerator my whole life. I went into the appliance store, there's like 900 of 'em lined up, there's a salesman there. What's this...
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.
Be what you would seem to be - or, if you'd like it put more simply - never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not other...
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
The thing that had been, it is that which shall be; And that which is done is that which shall be done.
I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor w...
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.
I love New York. I was sad, depressed and incredibly moved by our fellow countrymen and what they've done. I wanted to give people a chance to see something funny, have a distraction.
I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher.
I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.