But you know, even worrying about haircuts couldn't depress me. Because every time I started sinking low, I'd just remember about football. All this time I'd thought I wanted to be a trainer, when it...
I hate it when people make fun of me and it turns out they're right.
I trust you are enjoying your stay in our castle? I asked at last. Would that I were, Your Highness. But I am afraid my sleep last night was quite troubled. This morning I identified the source of my...
Despite all my public misconduct, in the past year, I had learned the Elemental spells, the Doppelschläferin, and the preparation and flying of a magic broom; I had survived two months as prisoner of...
I could not but wonder at the queen's unprecedented civility, until I realized with a flush of shame that it was my own improved behavior that motivated hers. So it is that we in life determine our ow...
Every fairy tale, it seems, concludes with the bland phrase happily ever after. Yet every couple I have ever known would agree that nothing about marriage is forever happy. There are moments of bliss,...
Hell is paved with good intentions. Heaven is paved with Oreos.
And have your mother put my head on a stake? Do you have any notion what that would do to my handsome good looks?
Why was it that jam always coated me so?
What is a staircase, but a corridor improved by elevation?
The situation collapsed completely at dinner one September evening. Perhaps it was the full moon that drove me to madness, or the gnawing, relentless emptiness of my heart. Whatever the trigger, the p...
You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other's rear ends, you'd think they were feeling for diamonds or something.
That which is priceless has no cost.
When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.
She says you're not truly human until you've had your heart broken and you've broken someone's heart.
So break up with him.
If in this narrative I have not yet paid Queen Sophia adequate consideration, particularly given the unrelenting domination the woman would soon claim over every single element of my life, I offer thi...
How many times I have wondered what my fate might have been had I accompanied my parents that rainy spring morning. Such musings, I recognise, are more than a trifle insane, for envisioning what might...
You can’t think about how much you have left to do because that’s just one thought, one sad thought, that’ll make you bummed out all day long. Instead you’ve got to think about how much you’ve already...
I saw something I wanted to do and I decided to do it. The feeling of freedom it gave me- I can't even describe it. It was my decision. I chose it.
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