The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.
I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.
Get high on love, not drugs.
If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.