The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.
I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.
If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
Get high on love, not drugs.
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.
Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.