Janet Evanovich Quotes

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.

Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.

It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun, and I'm rescuing a has-been horse. The least you cou...

You don’t have to be there to be there.

I don't have a lot of domestic instincts, Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down.I went dry mou...

I can't wear this, she said from inside the dressing room. It's too small.Let's see, Nick said. Come on out.Get me a bigger size. A lot bigger.Nick opened the door and looked in at Kate. Whoa, he said...

You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake. Morelli said. I'll find you.You are such a cop.Tell me about it.

She’d wanted to grow up to be a superhero, and in a left-turn kind of way she felt like she was on track.

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.

So elves could be walking around in our midst, disguised as normal, everyday, vertically challenged citizens.

I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself Thinking- Stephanie Plum High Five

I always wanted to eat with a Negro, Grandma said.Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman, Lula said. So I guess this works out good.

Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this." - Morelli

Were really screwed up, aren't we?In a very large way.

Arson is a respected profession among certain subcultures in Jersey, and the good ones don't get caught. The good ones channel lightning and mysterious acts of spontaneous combustion.

Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.

Günter killed his light and waited in the pitch-black, straining his ears for the noise to repeat itself.

Didn’t know about the wizard power, but she was right about being cute. I was sort of cute in a girl-next-door kind of way that didn’t seem to encourage dates. Glo was cute in a quirky, fun way that w...

Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks, I said to Ziggy.I'll try, Ziggy said, but it's a hard habit to break.

Believe just about anything.