The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun, and I'm rescuing a has-been horse. The least you cou...
Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.
You never want to look in a mirror, Lula said. Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their m...
You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake. Morelli said. I'll find you.You are such a cop.Tell me about it.
I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself Thinking- Stephanie Plum High Five
I can't wear this, she said from inside the dressing room. It's too small.Let's see, Nick said. Come on out.Get me a bigger size. A lot bigger.Nick opened the door and looked in at Kate. Whoa, he said...
In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.
I don't have a lot of domestic instincts, Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down.I went dry mou...
So elves could be walking around in our midst, disguised as normal, everyday, vertically challenged citizens.
Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firstha...
She’d wanted to grow up to be a superhero, and in a left-turn kind of way she felt like she was on track.
I always wanted to eat with a Negro, Grandma said.Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman, Lula said. So I guess this works out good.
Dad's on a fishing boat in front of Carter's estate. If we get into trouble, all I have to do is press the button on the tiny transmitter in my pocket and he'll destroy the dome on top of Carter's hou...
Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.
Were really screwed up, aren't we?In a very large way.
I was completely out of clean clothes. That meant I could be a slut and sleep naked , or I could be a slob and sleep in what I was wearing. Truth is, I'm not entirely comfortable sleeping naked. I do...
I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your gran...
Believe just about anything.