Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
The best way to save face is keep the bottom half shut.
I want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.
I really don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
I explained to him I had simple tastes and didn't want anything ostentatious no matter what it costs.
I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.
I forgot they were talking about me. They sound so wonderfully convincing.
I've always been well liked. I was so popular in school everybody hated me.
I've been here so long . . . when I got here the Dead Sea wasn't even sick yet.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Some people speak from experience while others from experience don't speak.
One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be a great deal older.
It is almost impossible to find those who admire us entirely lacking in taste.
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves.
A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't.
Adam was the only man who when he said a good thing knew that nobody had said it before him.
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
Don't worry if your "you" is small and your rewards are few: Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you.
A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something that would make you mad if it happened to you.
If Noah found himself back on Earth you can bet all he would recognize would be the jokes.
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