Or as my dad always says: it only becomes a social problem when the working man joins in.
Fuck me,' I said out loud, 'I'm in fairyland.
She was spontaneously created by the midichlorians,' I said. Both women gave me blank looks. 'Never mind.
Abigail stared suspiciously at Lesley. Why are you wearing a mask? she asked.Because my face fell off, said Lesley.Abigail considered this for a moment and then nodded. Okay, she said.
From then on, it was even twistier B-roads through a country so photgenically rural that I half expected to meet Bilbo Baggins around the next corner - providing he'd taken to driving a Nissan Micra.
I was pleased to see that even back in the glory days of the Folly people left their mugs of tea on their magical textbooks.
Then Beverley Brook stepped onto the footplate and pointed a shotgun straight at the Queen’s head – I recognised the Purdey from my trunk. It was nice to see it getting an airing.Beverley herself was...
Bollocks, I thought, or testiculi or possibly testiculos if we were using the accusative.
So that's when I came up with the most ridiculous plan since I'd decided to take a witness statement from a ghost. It was a plan so stupid that even Baldrick would have rejected it out of hand.