Bollocks, I thought, or testiculi or possibly testiculos if we were using the accusative.
From then on, it was even twistier B-roads through a country so photgenically rural that I half expected to meet Bilbo Baggins around the next corner - providing he'd taken to driving a Nissan Micra.
Or as my dad always says: it only becomes a social problem when the working man joins in.
She was spontaneously created by the midichlorians,' I said. Both women gave me blank looks. 'Never mind.
I was pleased to see that even back in the glory days of the Folly people left their mugs of tea on their magical textbooks.
Fuck me,' I said out loud, 'I'm in fairyland.
Abigail stared suspiciously at Lesley. Why are you wearing a mask? she asked.Because my face fell off, said Lesley.Abigail considered this for a moment and then nodded. Okay, she said.
So that's when I came up with the most ridiculous plan since I'd decided to take a witness statement from a ghost. It was a plan so stupid that even Baldrick would have rejected it out of hand.
Then Beverley Brook stepped onto the footplate and pointed a shotgun straight at the Queen’s head – I recognised the Purdey from my trunk. It was nice to see it getting an airing.Beverley herself was...