Top Humour Quotes

Nothing more likely,"said Hannasyde. "I've got to try and rattle him.""It's him that'll do the rattling,"said the Sergeant darkly. "he's the nearest thing to a snake I've seen outside of the Zoo.

Supermarkets were introduced into Britain to destroy small businesses and create a sense of social alienation

Most girls if you hold hands with them, their goddamn hand dies on you

So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being al...

Attracting musicians is rather like inviting flies over to tea: they are tolerable for half an hour, but when they begin to touch the food, you either wish they would go home or die.

Agent Jones held Sinjin’s face in his hands. I’m going to make balloon animals. People need balloon animals.How right you are, strange delusional man, Sinjin said.

Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

Got to say, dying would really wreck my best day. Been there, done that, and now that I think about it, Artemis forgot to give me the t-shirt.

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

I shot him a look. That bouncer was really big.His lips quirked. Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad things.What?The grin spread. I would say size doesn't matter but it does. I would know. he winked...

Mother, who has an absolute belief that it is not the cards that one is dealt in life, it is how one plays them, is, by far, the highest card I was dealt.

Nothing more likely,said Hannasyde. I've got to try and rattle him.It's him that'll do the rattling,said the Sergeant darkly. he's the nearest thing to a snake I've seen outside of the Zoo.

Oliver, calm down! said Fred, looking slightly alarmed. We’re taking Hufflepuff very seriously. .

She seems somewhat morose and out of sorts. Do you beat her often?''I must admit that I do not.''There is the answer! Beat her well; beat her often! It will bring roses to her cheeks! There is nothing...

So it was perfectly possible that there were men who liked shopping, men who understood exactly what it was all about, but Mma Ramotwe had yet to meet such a man. Maybe they existed elsewhere - in Fra...

The entire time Albie followed Beverly around the house doing what the children referred to as the stripper soundtrack:When their mother stopped walking the soundtrack stopped. If she took a single st...

The rottweiler stood his ground and waited for me to take the next step in the dance of ritualized intimidation. Instead, I leaped at him. Screw ritual. Now was not the time to stand on ceremony.

Torture? she asked with a laugh. My first piece of information I’ll divulge to you? I wouldn’t recommend trying to torture me. I dislike it and grow sulky under pincers. It’s a fault.

You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.