“ I was having dinner…in London…when eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about Your country’s never been invaded. And so I said, Let me tell you who those bad guys are. They’re us… P.J. O'Rourke
“ Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. P.J. O'Rourke
“ If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography. P.J. O'Rourke
“ The Hollywooden heads would buy a car for almost any purpose except a worthy one. Many automobiles were purchased to attract members of LA's eight or ten opposite sexes. Since the denizens of America'… P.J. O'Rourke
“ We all know how 'modern democracies take loaves from the wealthy.' It's the slipups in the 'pass them out to the poor' department that inspire a study of Economics. P.J. O'Rourke
“ …being specific is the essence of lawmaking and the whole difference between having a Congress and having a mom. P.J. O'Rourke
“ Even I realized that money was to politicians what the eucalyptus tree is to koala bears: food, water, shelter, and something to crap on. P.J. O'Rourke
“ The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary a… P.J. O'Rourke
“ People are all exactly alike. There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed. George Bush and an Australian Aborigine have fewer di… P.J. O'Rourke
“ The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then the… P.J. O'Rourke
“ The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then… P.J. O'Rourke
“ A walk through an old graveyard shows our ancestors often had more dead children than we have live ones. P.J. O'Rourke
“ Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of. P.J. O'Rourke
“ Bahala na, as the Filipinos say, which is an untranslatable phrase containing the same germ of philosophy as the Arabic inshalla or the Spanish mañana or the English you must have me mixed up with som… P.J. O'Rourke
“ A road trip with Richard Nixon would seem like gum surgery on wheels. But Hunter S. Thompson actually went on a road trip with Nixon—or, anyway, on a car ride—in New Hampshire during the 1968 presiden… P.J. O'Rourke
“ Cherubim perhaps, take practice shots with the Big Bang. I would have preferred to write a book about the course of actions taken during this election campaign and how that course of actions led to ce… P.J. O'Rourke
“ And, Donald, the end of your necktie belongs up around your belt buckle, not between your knees and your nuts. Trump’s haircut makes Kim Jong Un laugh. P.J. O'Rourke
