Any advice for how to be a successful author?""Yes. Don't be a woman. And be dead. And do both at the same time, if you can.
I am the sum of my past experience.Some people have got a lot to answer for.
At my lowest point, when things were at their most desperate and uncomfortable, I always found myself in the company of Australians, who were like a reminder that I'd touched bottom.
What can you do for love?Can you leave a person for love?Can you leave a country for love?I think I wouldn't even leave my couch for love
I'm on a roller coaster which only goes up my friend
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of being well-preserved, but to skid sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, still screaming, 'Whoo what a ride!
And I thought kitty liter was the unlawful practice of discarding small felines along the roadside.
Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts
They fuck you up, your mum and dad', and if you're planning on writing that's probably a good thing. But if you are planning on writing and they haven't fucked you up, well, you've got nothing to go o...
Life is a windowless room in the Hotel Bellevue.
Ouch! What are you doing, Karl, you broke my skull!
Ever since I discovered that my god given male member was going to give me no peace, I decided to give it no rest in return.
It's only human nature for dogs to chase motrobikes
No," he said, "look, it's very, very simple ... all I want ... is a cup of tea. You are going to make one for me. Keep quiet and listen." And he sat. He told the Nutri-Matic about India, he told it ab...
Individuality: ten. Cautiousness: three. Combativeness: nine." She looked over and gave me a wink. "Well, what did you expect from a pirate's daughter? Hope: eight. Amativeness. What's that?"Kate acut...
People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately.
Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
Question everything, unless it's the answer