Top Humorous Quotes

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Humorous Definition

(a.) Moist; humid; watery.

(a.) Subject to be governed by humor or caprice; irregular; capricious; whimsical.

(a.) Full of humor; jocular; exciting laughter; playful; as, a humorous story or author; a humorous aspect.

I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave.

Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.

Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.

Of all the things in the world, I'm particularly amazed at, is the conviction with which the MIND, endorses an Idea, which is phenomenal, as it differentiates the Genius from Mediocre, or not to forge...

A smile is the best way to get oneself out of a tight spot, even if it is a fake one. Surprisingly enough, everyone takes it at face value. I read that in a book.""If you keep staring at me, I'll hit...

One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys.

I said to my friend, "Why do you smoke (cigarettes)?"He replied, "Because I like to put myself on the line for the welfare and safety of others."I astonishingly said, "Sorry, I didn't get your point."...

If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

Get high on love, not drugs.

Self-observation is simply the observation of an internal state and an external event. It is pure awareness, which gives one the ability to choose one's actions. Only by having the choice can one perf...

Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.

Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.

A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.

Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most...