Top Humor Quotes

A whizzpopper! cried the BFG, beaming at her. Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little wh...

Two girls walk past in gargantuan heels and dresses so tight that their skin is spilling out, and one of them says to the other, Wait, who the fuck is Lewis Carroll? and in my imagination I pull a gun...

Humor Definition

(n.) Moisture, especially, the moisture or fluid of animal bodies, as the chyle, lymph, etc.; as, the humors of the eye, etc.

(n.) A vitiated or morbid animal fluid, such as often causes an eruption on the skin.

(n.) State of mind, whether habitual or temporary (as formerly supposed to depend on the character or combination of the fluids of the body); disposition; temper; mood; as, good humor; ill humor.

(n.) Changing and uncertain states of mind; caprices; freaks; vagaries; whims.

(n.) That quality of the imagination which gives to ideas an incongruous or fantastic turn, and tends to excite laughter or mirth by ludicrous images or representations; a playful fancy; facetiousness.

(v. t.) To comply with the humor of; to adjust matters so as suit the peculiarities, caprices, or exigencies of; to adapt one's self to; to indulge by skillful adaptation; as, to humor the mind.

(v. t.) To help on by indulgence or compliant treatment; to soothe; to gratify; to please.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

Puddings, my dear sir?' cried Graham.Puddings. We trice 'em athwart the starboard gumbrils, when sailing by and large.

I want a room decorated with bones! Dan said. Where'd they come from?Cemeteries, Amy said. Back in the 1700s, the cemeteries were getting overcrowded, so they decided to dig up tons of old bodies–all...

They think I’m not entirely ‘grounded in reality’, they say. They want me to go to some live-in nerdy activity ranch thing for troubled Canadian youth, that one out in Ontario where you come back prog...

Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... o...

No one can be your sun, moon, or stars until you have your own world.

Thanks to bad graphic design, some readers love only the electronic version of some books.

I pat the brand new twenty-seven inch Macintosh computers Mr. Foley brought us. 'These boxes alone should make both of us scream like it's Christmas morning! Snap out of it. Santa came! Now we get to...

It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see...You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?No, said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally ha...

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow there is no humor in Heaven.

Hermes smiled. I knew a boy once ... oh, younger than you by far. A mere baby, really., George said. Martha snapped. Hermes ignored them. One night, when this boy's mother wasn't watching, he sneaked...

There would be fewer absent fathers, if straight men were turned on only by women with whom they would not mind having children.

It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civ...

I believe in the unity of all living things. God is in us and in all that exists.So, when you eat a carrot, aren't you eating God?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When I was young and I was forced to watch Disney films, I would fast forward the good guys, wasn't interested in princes and princesses, only by the villains.

My name is Matt Besser, and I'm an Arkansas Razorback. My father is a Jew from Little Rock, Ark., my mother was a Christian from Harrison, Ark., and somehow I'm an atheist now living in L.A. I am a Ra...

Lea stood upon a fallen log ahead of us, staring ahead. Mouse walked up to her.Gggrrrr rawf arrrgggrrrrarrrr, I said.Mouse gave me an impatient glance, and somehow--I don't know if it was something in...