Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.
I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'
I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
I follow the most random people on Twitter. I follow famous people like Khloe Kardashian, who surprisingly makes really funny tweets all the time.
Your mail could've waited. Daemon followed me into the kitchen. What is it? Just books?Grabbing the OJ from the fridge, I sighed. People who didn't heart books didn't understand.
You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frank...
Während Alek zuschaute, begriff er, wie primitiv er das Gerät benutzt hatte, so wie eine Katze, die Klavier spielt.
When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spir...
We're like the couple on the sitcom that has good sparks but never get together for the sake of ratings.
Then this, Grimm said, is what I believe professional inquisitors refer to as a clue.In my considered judgment as an occasional inquisitor for the Spirearch, Benedict said, I believe you may be correc...
If it winds up earlier, you should have a movie picked out. This is assuming she isn’t sending you the ‘let’s go back to my place’ signals. In that case—Don’t go there, Bob. Let’s just not go there.
If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.
I only snatched him to get your attention, I said. Now that I’ve got it, this is what I want.Damn my dame! Al shouted, hands raised to the ceiling. I knew it! Not another list!