“ I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier theywouldn't have to go so fast. Steven Wright
“ Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour. Steven Wright
“ The world looks very different to me now at twenty. I have outgrown my early opinions and ideals with my short dresses, just as Mrs. Walton said we would. Now the critics can say 'Thou waitest till th… Annie Fellows Johnston
“ When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. Steven Wright
“ Crystal ball and candle light, I want your dance tonight. Show me the power of love as we stand together in the middle of the night. Santosh Kalwar
“ Your Maker has rescued you from the darkest corner of your own heart... What he asks in return is obedience. And the courage to do what is necessary. Compton Gage
“ God has spoken to me, without words, to my heart. He has told me that I am to rewrite the future and remind His people's faith and to help keep that faith alive attached with the Holy Bible to Him. Go… Compton Gage
“ If one billion of you watch and do not intercede as one million of you assent to the one thousand who participate in the murder of a child, then one billion of you are a billion times guilty. Compton Gage
“ Your kids pissing you off is an inborn instinct. It's nature's way of getting you to kick them out when they turn 18!Okaaay. ~sigh~ Due to the times, you can kick them out between the ages of 28-38. C… Dakota Dawn
“ His was a great sin who first invented consciousness. Let us lose it for a few hours. F. Scott Fitzgerald
“ I got the wake-up call that no one is policing our oceans. I wondered, how can I do anything? What really can I do to make things better? There are some perks to being a celebrity. My job is to be fun… Angela Kinsey
“ It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent - I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me. Rick Baker
“ I wasn't even 20 at the time, but it taught me something about drugs. They can take a good man, a warm, funny, loving family man, and turn him into a loser and worse. Michael Bergin
“ But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be… Robert Downey, Jr.
“ I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. Craig Ferguson
“ Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex.… Beth Ditto
“ If you are a great dramatic actor then you often don't know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, pe… Steve Coogan
“ People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas. Mindy Kaling
