I am who I am and I am who I was, and I am who I will always be!
I want you to get a haircut so you don't look like Ish Kabibble on a rainy night.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
Have you ever heard someone say 'I shouldn't have trusted my intuition'?
So just bust a move!
Wine is to women as duct tape is to men - it fixes everything
To tell you the truth. I am a wild and passionate novelist. I am therefore easily given over to telling wild and passionate lies.
There are so many people out there that will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say "Watch me!
Wisdom of the Ages: "Rainier" A beer and a mountain. You drink enough of one and the next day you feel like you fell off the other.All next week Wisdom of the Ages will be featuring the Seattle Seahaw...
If You Lose Your Keys, At Least It's Better Than Losing Your Car.
Life is about more that quotes about life
Your brain is not only the material inside your cranium, its something to be explored, developed and refined
A family is a group of people who keep confusing you with someone you were as a kid.
Funny is always a good way to start when in doubt
Jose: Do not drop me senorJeff:i wont drop you,joseJose:then i be jose jalapeno on the floorPeanut:do a little tap dance and we got salsa!Jeff:Thats terrible!Peanut:not with the right chips its notJef...
You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud
101 Reasons Why its great to be a woman : We have three times the amount of potential sick leave. Take into account all those days you are unable to work owing to pre, during and post menstrual tensio...
I feel my brains, like a pear, to see if it's ripe; it will be exquisite by September.
Max, you're acting like a child, the Voice said. You're above rebelling against your fate just to rebel. You've got a date with destiny. Don't be late."I brushed some hair out of my eyes. Is that a mo...
Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.
Nerd life is just so much better than regular life.