Top Closures Quotes

One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be a great deal older.

The best way to save face is keep the bottom half shut.

I've always been well liked. I was so popular in school everybody hated me.

I've been here so long . . . when I got here the Dead Sea wasn't even sick yet.

Here's to one of the most beautiful kind thoughtful people I have ever known . . . You are getting more like me every day.

I'd like to thank the committee that brought this event about. It was an equal endeavor. They did the food decorations and reservations and I did the traffic flow.

Better to be king for a night than a schmuck for a lifetime.

I forgot they were talking about me. They sound so wonderfully convincing.

Some people speak from experience while others from experience don't speak.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

I want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.

Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.

A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't.

A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something that would make you mad if it happened to you.

Adam was the only man who when he said a good thing knew that nobody had said it before him.

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

Don't worry if your "you" is small and your rewards are few: Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you.

If Noah found himself back on Earth you can bet all he would recognize would be the jokes.

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves.