Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
If you're not failing you're not trying anything.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right.
Ninety percent of living is just showing up.
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect but I still love him.