There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
More men have been elected between Sundown and Sunup than ever were elected between Sunup and Sundown.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
The more you read about politics the more you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
Politics is applesauce.
Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth...
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.
The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor.
If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
To make money buy some good stock hold it until it goes up and then sell it. If it doesn't go up don't buy it.
A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.