The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a livi...
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
AH I know is what I see in the papers.
If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out.
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing,you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.The one that's out always looks the best
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
When you put down the good things you ought to have done and leave out the bad things you did do - well that's memoirs.
If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble it's what we know that ain't so.