T.J. Klune Quotes

I’m sorry. Were you just speaking to me? I apologize most profusely. I was distracted by the size of the sweat stains under your arms. Are you overly warm today? It seems unlikely given the cold, dead...

'Es cor meum,' he murmured, his eyes dancing over my face. Though I'd never heard the phrase, I responded: 'Ut tu meus.' As you are mine.

I rolled my eyes as the elevator door opened. 'I was thinking more along the lines of Tick and Tock. You know they won't--' 'Holy shit, boss! Did you beat him up with your mouth?' Tick exclaimed loudl...

So I said, Goddammit, and hugged it out with the both of them, because feelings.

Dad, I admonished lightly. You can't threaten the King. You'll be pooping in buckets by nightfall.I don't care, he retorted. I'd poop in buckets for the rest of my life if it means your heart was safe...

'Whatever you need to call yourself to help you sleep at night, that's fine. Just as long as you know you're sleeping next to me.'

He hesitates, then says, You don't think Otter... gets offended by what I say? He begins to speak faster. I mean, I don't care who Otter sleeps with. I don't care that he's a fa- gay. I don't care tha...

Gary, why Sam sweating?Well you see, my dear Tiggy. When a boy loves another boy very much, it makes him awkwardand have feelings in his penis and !Sam, why you use magic and glue Gary’s mouth shut?Is...

Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex.This proceeded to lead up on a long tangent where I had to have him explain to me how he knows about stuff like p...

I told myself that once I was done ripping the seagull's head off, I would turn around and give a speech so saccharine that even Eddie wouldn't be able to console them when I was finished. I would des...

Gary, why Sam sweating?Well you see, my dear Tiggy. When a boy loves another boy very much, it makes him awkward and have feelings in his penis and !Sam, why you use magic and glue Gary’s mouth shut?I...

'He'll probably end up angling for a threesome. Then I'll have to get my animal name so I can be a part of the group. So Native American of you white boys. I'll probably go for something like Falcon....

If Sam were a tree, you know what kind of tree he’d be?What kind?A pine. Because of all the pining.

Never again, you hear me? Never again. Something happens, you tell me. I need you to tell me. I need you.

I’m not a prize to be won, he gasped out. That was so awesome. You go, girl. Get down with your bad self and preach. We don’t need no mens. We are fierce and hear Sam of Wilds roar. He puffed out his...

Sam never gonna find a boyfriend, Tiggy said. No one gonna take his flower.Don’t talk about my flower!

You could have gone dark side, Tanner said.Like full-on Darth Gordo, Chris said.Gordo put his face in his hands. I told you guys, I'm a witch. I'm not a Jedi.Um, excuse me, Rico said. Can you or can y...

Richard Collins had only taken weeks to destroy the little boy I’d known. He was this shell, okay? This empty shell, and I didn’t know how to fix it. And then, Ox. Oh, and then there was you. She

I didn't want to be covered in rage glitter and rainbows. That was gonna suck balls.

I bet he wants to solve Ryan’s riddle, Mary said. And then he probably wants to riddle his Ryan.