We went into the Dark Woods and I almost had to get gay fairy married again and now I feel really bad and Ryan got bad-touched by trees and Fairy King Dimitri was cryptic and annoying and apparently h...
I bet he wants to solve Ryan’s riddle, Mary said. And then he probably wants to riddle his Ryan.
He smiled at me, and it was a thing of dark malevolence. It means, he said, that we can double date. Just the four of us. Doesn’t that sound like fun? And I thought there was a distinct possibility th...
I'll be honest, I said. That's rather embarrassing. And also? So many remarks make much more sense now. I really need to be more aware of my surroundings.And then I walked into a large boulder. -- Sam
But then they threatened Ryan with death and I was, like, bitch, please. You don’t know who you’re messing with.
You okay, Sam?Ha-ha, why wouldn’t I be? Everything is peachy! I’m okay. I’m than okay.Okay. I only ask because you haven’t stopped staring at me for the last four hours.You lie with all your lies!
What, the glass is half-full instead of half-empty? Bullshit. What they don't tell you is that regardless of how full the glass is, it's filled with acid, and you'll burn your face off.
I told the Kid I thought Wednesday was Latin for Satan, and that we probably shouldn't do it then because it might be bad luck. The Kid then proceeded to tell me what the word Wednesday actually means...
You went full-on bitchy and made a dramatic exit? He sounded way too gleeful over my histrionics. I have taught you well, my young apprentice.
The big kid hasn't said anything yet. 'I do like hearing myself talk,' I say, 'only because I have a lot of neat things to say, but eventually the conversation will run out in, like, four or five year...
He’ll introduce himself as something ridiculous, like Gustavo Tiberius, because everyone has idiotic names these days,
Everything is so vast. It’s humbling to remember just how small we really are.
It was just me and him, there in that place where tragedy had happened, where I thought my life had ended. But somehow, he made it seem like a home again. Somehow, he gave it back to me.
Today has been so weird, I side-whispered to Gary. I think the word you’re looking for is erotic, he said back. Today has been so erotic.
Way gay, I reassured him. Like, super gay. I fart and rainbows come out. Oh, crap.
My malt brings all the boys to the vestibule.
Don’t be difficult, Bear. It’s unattractive.
Oh my gods, Gary groaned from behind us. Would you two just go already? This is so godsdamned disturbing to watch. It's like you're face-fucking me with a dick made of sugar. Stop it. You stop it rig...
I wonder how long he’s been at this, wonder what this has done to his belief, his faith. Does he think this is a reward for his service? Does he see this as proof of his faith? Or has this shattered e...
He’s a bit of a dick, I said, flailing for something.Paul rolled his eyes. Well it’s a good thing you’re a bottom, because you’re an asshole, so the two of you fit together just fine.Wow, I said. That...
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