T.J. Klune Quotes

I'm so chill, people think I'm Alaskan.- Gustavo Tiberius

Another fairy flew up, carrying a spear and wearing a helmet and not much else. I thought about asking why he had armor on his head and not his balls, but I didn’t think that was proper etiquette whil...

I glanced back at my merry little band of travelers. A hornless gay unicorn. A half-giant. A knight who was a jerk but that I wanted to have for breakfast.

Hey, Sam. Want to join me in the river? We can bathe before the sun sets and it gets too cold..What?Stay back, foul temptress!What?Er. Not you. Uh. I… sensed the presence of a succubus. Like, near her...

Sam said he doesn’t have time for a boyfriend, much less Knight Delicious Face.Remind me why you call him that? Pete asked.Uh, pretty simple, Pete, I said. He’s a knight. And his face is delicious.

Gary’s eyes narrowed. I’m pretty sure I don’t like you.My world is crumbling, Ryan said. I might have laughed. Because sass.

Can you sign something? Nicole demanded. This paper? This napkin? My chest? My inner thighs or my wildest dreams? Whatever you want.

Seven smirked as he walked back over to me. I gave you catharsis last night. Twice.

I like you, Gary finally said in a low voice.Thank you? I thought you already did.No. Like, I like you. Before, I was just pretending. I actually think I almost despised you. But now I don’t.You almo...

And I wished I could believe him. I wished with all that I had. And when you're eleven, you're on the cusp between still believing wishing worked if you wanted something hard enough and understanding...

Richard Collins had only taken weeks to destroy the little boy I’d known. He was this shell, okay? This empty shell, and I didn’t know how to fix it. And then, Ox. Oh, and then there was you. She

The color of your dress really brings out the extraordinary paleness of your skin tone. Are you unwell? Dying, perhaps?

I’m sorry. Were you just speaking to me? I apologize most profusely. I was distracted by the size of the sweat stains under your arms. Are you overly warm today? It seems unlikely given the cold, dead...

Oh dear gods. I think my underwear just fell off. Nicole, Tina hissed. Keep your comments to yourself! Be a respectable fucking lady, for fuck’s sake!

I rolled my eyes as the elevator door opened. 'I was thinking more along the lines of Tick and Tock. You know they won't--' 'Holy shit, boss! Did you beat him up with your mouth?' Tick exclaimed loudl...

Lady Tina DeSilva. The president of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter. And my most mortal of enemies. Oh look, everyone. Mervin has arrived and he brought the muffins. If past experienc...

And I’m a Foxy Lady, Tina said. Because of reasons. She stared at his chest. Everyone understood her reasons. Even me.

Creed scowls. Hardly. All he does now is mope like a goddamn teenage girl. Anytime I'm home, he's in his room with the door locked. I'm telling you guys, he got worked over really bad in San Diego. I...

If I was straight and Tina not the bitch from hell, one would assume we were almost flirting. But I was gay and Tina was the bitch from hell. We were not flirting.

So I said, Goddammit, and hugged it out with the both of them, because feelings.