Gary’s eyes narrowed. I’m pretty sure I don’t like you.My world is crumbling, Ryan said. I might have laughed. Because sass.
Hey, Sam. Want to join me in the river? We can bathe before the sun sets and it gets too cold..What?Stay back, foul temptress!What?Er. Not you. Uh. I… sensed the presence of a succubus. Like, near her...
I glanced back at my merry little band of travelers. A hornless gay unicorn. A half-giant. A knight who was a jerk but that I wanted to have for breakfast.
Can you sign something? Nicole demanded. This paper? This napkin? My chest? My inner thighs or my wildest dreams? Whatever you want.
Another fairy flew up, carrying a spear and wearing a helmet and not much else. I thought about asking why he had armor on his head and not his balls, but I didn’t think that was proper etiquette whil...
I like you, Gary finally said in a low voice.Thank you? I thought you already did.No. Like, I like you. Before, I was just pretending. I actually think I almost despised you. But now I don’t.You almo...
Creed scowls. Hardly. All he does now is mope like a goddamn teenage girl. Anytime I'm home, he's in his room with the door locked. I'm telling you guys, he got worked over really bad in San Diego. I...
Seven smirked as he walked back over to me. I gave you catharsis last night. Twice.
That look isn’t about secrets, Tina said. He probably just has gas. Intestinal gas.
And I’m a Foxy Lady, Tina said. Because of reasons. She stared at his chest. Everyone understood her reasons. Even me.
Ryan shrugged. You’re adorable. With your angry glitter. And Gary blushed. His whole face. Never before in the strange and sordid history of our super-best friendship had I ever seen him blush.
Sam said he doesn’t have time for a boyfriend, much less Knight Delicious Face.Remind me why you call him that? Pete asked.Uh, pretty simple, Pete, I said. He’s a knight. And his face is delicious.
Oh dear gods. I think my underwear just fell off. Nicole, Tina hissed. Keep your comments to yourself! Be a respectable fucking lady, for fuck’s sake!
The color of your dress really brings out the extraordinary paleness of your skin tone. Are you unwell? Dying, perhaps?
Well, it was so quiet you could have heard a molecule fart three states away.
Lady Tina DeSilva. The president of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter. And my most mortal of enemies. Oh look, everyone. Mervin has arrived and he brought the muffins. If past experienc...
And I wished I could believe him. I wished with all that I had. And when you're eleven, you're on the cusp between still believing wishing worked if you wanted something hard enough and understanding...
Gross. I just agreed internally with something Tina said. I reminded myself to run tests when I got home to make sure I hadn’t just been possessed by a demon.
If I was straight and Tina not the bitch from hell, one would assume we were almost flirting. But I was gay and Tina was the bitch from hell. We were not flirting.
I'm so chill, people think I'm Alaskan.- Gustavo Tiberius
